Time for Parenting...
...because raising children is a full-time job
May 2001 Newsletter
'I hope so much that you are still going strong. I have just found your website and want to let you know what a wonderful surprise it was. So, so refreshing to see in print the same thoughts and opinions as we have. I have posted several messages to several sites about these issues, and had much support from stay at home mums. I can't believe we haven't had more publicity, this is such a hot potato, and yet we are increasingly relegated to the 'underclass'.
We have 4 kids, 20, 18, 15 and 4. I have always stayed at home with them, feeling that that was simply where I should be. When the three eldest were young it was a terrible struggle to survive, as my husband was not earning a very high wage. We scrimped and saved, and managed to pull through - just. Then when we had our youngest, not planned, but much wanted, I gave up work again (I had worked part time for a couple of years, but was always there after school). This time was a little better as my husband's salary had increased, but he still had to take a weekend job as well.
After a couple of years my husband was offered a new job and doubled his salary overnight, so now thank goodness we are secure. Even so I feel that the sacrifices we made were worth it. They have all grown up as intelligent, caring, thoughtful human beings who we are exceptionally proud of . So we know it works! Fight on!!'
Carrie and John. (by email)
Common sense aims
'As a member of the National Council of Women I received your brochure with one of their mailings. I am delighted to learn that a group with such sensible aims exists - what a pity that it is necessary. I am a full-time professional woman without children . To see successive governments fall over backwards actively to encourage mothers to go out to work is the daftest economic nonsense of all time. Having recently worked in Germany and Japan I have seen how their societies value full-time mothers. Of course it helps when family breakdown has not been stimulated by high divorce rates and disappearance of moral values, but stability and a mother at home enables children to grow up in security and to concentrate on better things than how to cope with absent parents.
Looking at the children of friends and reading their Christmas letters, I am struck by the progress and achievement of those who had full-time mothers. They did not have to worry about feeding themselves when they returned to empty homes, they got down to homework or organised activities. Furthermore, there were usually fathers around who took pride in their families.
Good luck with your aims. I will be taking your leaflet to some of the many political meeetings I attend to demonstrate that there are still small voices of common sense unheard.'
Work to do
'A friend of mine in California (divorced & childless) keeps asking me to visit her. I recently wrote explaining that my financial situation wouldn't allow it - three children and very infrequent part-time work. In the same letter I chatted about various things - including worries about GCSEs, homework, health, finding cash for school trips, bicycles, outings & all the usual things parents find a problem. I was sent a prompt reply: "You must get yourself a full-time job - that'll solve your financial problems and stress headaches as you won't have time to fuss about your children" !! FTM has a lot of work to do.... '
Janeen Evans, Salisbury, Wiltshire (by email)
The pension question
'It was great to find your website, it highlighted some of the areas where full-time mothers are penalised through the taxation system. One area you didn't seem to raise, or did I just miss it? was the whole area of pensions. I believe that stay at home mothers should have their "job" recognised and that they should be entitled to have national stamp paid during their time at home. At present I can not make contributions to my pension. This seems ludicrous considering that women outlive men by nearly 10 years and that pension provision is liable to be inadequate even if we did contribute all our adult lives.
This remains one of the biggest inequalities in our society that women are deprived of adequate pensions if they make the decision to stay at home and nurture their children.'
Sarah Halliwell (by email)