Time for Parenting...

...because raising children is a full-time job

May 2002 Newsletter

From the chair; New members write; Then and Now; A Mum's CV; Women's National Commission; What the papers say; What the committee does

Then and Now

Barbara Blackmore

In June 1991 I was so moved by an article in the Daily Mail headed "Why Must We Treat Mothers as Second Class Citizens?" that I felt compelled to write to the author, Kathy Gyngell, in support of her views. And so it was by chance that I discovered the newly formed FTM. Kathy was the first chairman and I joined the Committee for a while soon after their first public meeting in July 1991.

Kathy's article referred to a Gallup report which found that four out of five full-time mothers felt they had lost their status when they left work. At that time assumptions were that babies could manage very well without Mum's help. No mention was made of the needs of the child because those needs were so easily pushed aside. Mothers themselves expected to return quickly to work and those who experienced the pain of separation were expected simply to deal with it. Employers too didn't dare assume otherwise. Therefore many mothers who did give up work felt guilty and alone, at times they felt they had failed themselves, their employers and their fellow workers. A crazy situation if you consider they could have been seen to be investing heavily in the well-being and education of a future workforce.

With little or no training for her new role it is easy to see why the extremely competent business women would miss the safety of her office environment. It was also evident that those who had risen to higher levels at work found it even more difficult to return after an extended break because they were no longer so well regarded. Little wonder then that women did not see any option to change their career to that of mother even just until their babies were walking or talking.

More than ten years on and I believe mothers are still treated as second class citizens but now, at least, they need not feel so isolated. There have been many positive changes. Firstly, there is an ever growing band of supporters willing to speak out about the vital role played by mothers. It was a joy, for example, to hear the hour long debate on Woman's Hour a few months back when FTM and sister organisation Watch? (What About the Children?) worked so well together to reinforce the message we all strive to get across. And our Newsletter grows stronger as more members take the trouble to write in with the odd comment or news gathered locally.

The FTM website is now well-established and a very important tool, providing would-be full time mothers with hard evidence in support of their instinctive feeling that time spent at home might not be wasted time. The book reviews, the research, the links to other organisations and local groups, are there for those who wish to find it. The decision about when to return to work after having a baby is necessarily a very personal one, but sometimes it is too easy to believe your job must come first if that's the only message you hear.

FTM members who choose to be on the Email list receive random updates, news, requests for help, and so on. We were emailed, for example, when Jill Kirby's recent study into family decline was published and reported on by the Telegraph. This immediacy can be useful and very encouraging.

It's not always easy to go against the tide, but there is nothing more important than our children and their needs are worth fighting for. It is the image of the mother at home that is wrong. She is perceived as someone very weak, a deadbeat housewife who deserves to be treated as a second class citizen. This image is very far from the truth and together now I believe we can change that image.