Time for Parenting...
...because raising children is a full-time job
May 2002 Newsletter
New Members Write
I first heard about you on Women's
Hour. I feel very strongly that motherhood as a job is undervalued. My
husband works away in order that I do not have to work yet we get no tax
benefit for being a single income family. I would like to help promote
your organization here in the north east.
I returned to work as a solicitor on a part-time basis
when son was 9 months old. I left nine months later having suffered the
common fate of a lot of women who return part-time (not taken seriously,
smaller office, no support, etc. etc.) I have been a FTM ever since and
would not have it any other way.
I have information about the US Mothers Hearts at Home
and Full Time Mothers - looking for a UK equivalent and read about it
in a book - so thanks for writing back.
I have worked for the same organization for fourteen years,
ever since leaving university. I am currently in a managerial position.
After having Bethany (now 2½ years) I returned part-time, two days
a week. I have been considering giving up work completely and when I found
out I was pregnant this has made me more determined. I am currently on
maternity leave but intend not returning after this time. A friend told
me about Full time Mothers and spoke highly of its aims. After reading
its aims I too felt that I could fully support them.
Your leaflet was included in the Natural Parent Magazine
some time ago and your aims seemed to reflect what I believed about caring
for my children and my family's rights. I had a period between my older
child going to school and the younger being born of struggling with work
and home commitments (especially being a single parent at that time, and
dumping him with childminders, etc. before and after school. I feel I
failed him but there seemed no alternative. The time I have spent as a
full-time mother has been the most rewarding of my life but seems to be
seen as a 'cop out' and displaying a lack of purpose in life by those
who have no real understanding of its value. It would be good to be part
of an organisation making a positive contribution to a society which is
failing its children.
I want to be a full time mother but am under considerable
pressure from family, partner, friends and work colleagues to go back
to work as if it is the only worthwhile thing to do. It makes no sense
to me to pay someone else to care for my child while I work and, after
paying, come out with the equivalent of £1 or £2 per hour.
I support changes in the tax and benefit system designed to support mothers
who want to bring up their own children.
I am a qualified Steiner kindergarten teacher who has chosen
to become a full-time spiritual homemaker. I whole-heartedly agree that
one parent ideally should be a full-time home maker and that this occupation
should be revered and offered financial, political and social status.
It is a job that benefits society in the long term and is the most important
job on this planet. Why don't people, society, politics realist this?
I could receive up to £100 per week to pay for childminding
for my young son if I take a part-time or full-time job (kindergarten
teacher - taking care of other children!) yet I do not get any payment
for choosing to stay home and take care of my own child! It is not the
easy option either. For conscientious parenting is the most difficult
thing I have ever done.
I got your leaflet with my Natural Parent Magazine. I am
a full-time mother of four children who do not go to school. We made the
decision to home-educate five years ago and have, in that time, been joined
by many others.
I am a full-time mother of four who gave up my degree to
support my husband's career and provide cohesion in our family. I am pleasantly
surprised to find out about the existence of this organisation. I feel
its support would be invaluable, within the present setup of discrimination
against mothers. I feel discriminated against financially - there is no
reward for what I do - and in terms of being accepted as a 'worker' and
not someone who is the equivalent of unemployed. Attitudes like this have
made my work and choice to support the family much harder.
I am a full-time mum and intend to stay that way for as
long as my children need me to be (at least until they reach 18 or so).
I am also home educating them both, as is my partner, which is something
we take very seriously as part of our parenting roles. I was disgusted
at my treatment when I went to register my first son's birth - the registrar
said he was 'unable' to mark me as a 'full-time mum/housewife', so I was
put down as unemployed. Up until two years prior I had been a clerical
worker. On the other hand, even though my partner is on long-term sickness
benefit (and said so) the registrar noted him down as his previous employment!
I am a single parent and have enjoyed being a full-time
mother to all my six children. The two eldest went part-time to nursery
but the youngest I have chosen not to send as I feel they need the full-time
close relationship. All the children have been taught to read fluently
by me with a reading age of eight before starting school.
I earn my living by trading on the stock market - done
at night when children in bed, so that the day is free for the children.
I graduated with a 2.1 BSc in social sciences two years ago, which I did
part-time in the evenings. I would like to meet other like-minded mothers
locally and attend any meetings
I have been a full-time mum since taking maternity leave
with my first son in August 1998. I had always wanted to be a full-time
mum and have not regretted my decision. I feel that I am primarily responsible
for them and want to remain that way. It isn't always an easy role and
one I often feel unprepared for but both I and my husband are committed
to doing the best we can and undertook the Positive Parenting course last
year. Financially it isn't easy either and for all these reasons I feel
that FTM is an important organisation to help raise the issues and concerns
from ordinary families like ourselves who really need more support to
help raise happy, healthy children. I also would like to be in contact
and receive information from like-minded FTMs as I do feel isolated at
How wonderful to hear that you exist! You are doing a fantastic
job in raising awareness and promoting understanding of the real issues
around mothering. I myself have become a strong advocate of attachment
parenting and believe in meeting the real needs of babies and children.
I am a holistic childbirth educator and doula and I would
be more than happy to distribute leaflets in my classes. As a doula I
am passionate about support (general lack of it in our society!) around
pregnancy, birth and postpartum. Women and their children deserve to be
honoured and supported. Well done.
My three-year-old son has Down's syndrome. This also makes
me a carer officially - this has extra challenges, financial implications,
etc. For example, we have lots of appointments which would make it hard
for me to work. We receive DLA for James and I receive ICA benefits. We
would both like to work part-time to even out the pressures but still
have someone at home all the time, but we would lose the ICA because we
would both be working earning more than £70 per week even though
our household income may go down. My son is in a day nursery rather than
an education nursery because of his special needs. He is fortunate enough
to have been given a free place; otherwise we would have to pay £18
per day. Because I am not working this would not be taken into account
in Working Family's Tax Credit. Why can't I transfer my personal tax allowance
to my husband? Why am I a second class citizen!
I heard about Full Time Mothers through The Universe. I have three children and I have been married for nine years. By profession I am a journalist and I still do occasional writing work from home. I feel that some of my friends and relatives make condescending remarks and I feel that they undervalue the importance of women who stay at home with the kids. The encouragement I get is from my husband. Also my kids are happy and well adjusted and that keeps me going. I feel a sense of solidarity joining Full Time Mothers. Keep up the good work.